Simply thinner with Whole Body Vibration

People keep asking me what my secret is, they say I look great. I assure them that I feel great too. I look different to them, but they don’t know why. How could they? What I’m doing is pretty new to the world, at least in this context. It’s called Whole Body Vibration and my tool of choice is called a Soloflex. It’s a simple platform that looks like a big skateboard with a little motor underneath. You plug it in and set the speed, and stand, kneel, sit, lay or do asanas on it for five or ten minutes a few times a week, shaking every cell in your body, no matter how deep it is. Most people looking at me wouldn’t discern that I am vibrating but oh boy am I! No stasis in this body!! It’s something I wanted to invent myself because it makes so much sense. But somebody got ahead of me. Must have been a boomer who realized that we need to VIBRATE every cell in our body to face down the last leg of our trip.
Actually it was the Soviets who developed the technology now known as Whole Body Vibration for their cosmonauts back in the day when they first sought means to keep the poor guys strong and toned while aloft.
Thus we now have Soloflex, Power Plate and a rapidly growing legion of vibration platforms to aid us in our ongoing search for ultimate well-being. Lots of gyms have Power Plates now. Sports teams use them for warm up. The platforms are very popular on the golf circuit.. Old folks’ homes have them because it’s believed they build bone and muscle with virtually no effort. The claims, proven and unproven, go on and on. You will have to research and make your own decision at your own risk. As for me, I thank God I purchased it ($300) because I feel so great these days, and I attribute a lot of it to my friend, my vibrator, as my family and friends refer to it. Take heart! Such slurs and innuendoes are part and parcel of the perils one encounters when one is a community trailblazer-- striking out into new vibration territory. Ah yes, this is the focus of endless jokes, and I can handle it pretty well, so it’s all fun. I hope this blog will not bring on such jokes, as I’ve already heard them all and don’t want to hear any more. I am here for the good of the order. My good-natured television repairman saw the thing in the living room (It can slide under the couch) and when I showed him what it was he said “Wait till the guys at the office hear about this one!” So if you’re going to get one – get ready, because the jokes never end. And it’s really fun. And you can be truly innocent.
I am not going to endorse or recommend anything to you, because the jury is still out. It’s all new. I decided to place my bets on it after hours of online research and writing to researchers conducting ongoing experiments who refused to commit til next month or next year when the study is complete. They all caution that you should use only a very low vibration but I am reckless and impulsive and voracious at times, so I always turn it up full blast, I love the energy and the changes it makes, and only time will tell what the damage is, if any. I acknowledge it could be dangerous. There are so many caveats in the literature that you absolutely must and will think twice. No artificial joints, pacemakers, recent surgeries allowed onboard. I wondered “What if I shake loose a clot or a carcinogen that would otherwise have rested peacefully until the end of time?” AH but the energy! I’m taking some chances. And so far I just love the chances I take. It's no secret!